For Jayden, yes. For others, I don't know. However, it is one thing I've learned that plays a huge part in our everyday life.
Anyone who has read my blog, knows Jayden's struggle with his pacifier. Since we left Poland we've been very strict with it that he only has it when he is in his bed for nap or bed time. However, what he has been doing (which I haven't really noticed until yesterday) is when he gets very upset or misbehaves he goes into his room and calms himself down with a pacifier. But when I open the door to go talk to him about his behavior, he hides it. So to me, I have been thinking he has been doing a great job with his emotions and calming himself down until he is ready to talk about it. Wrong!
Long story short, yesterday we had a playdate with one of my best Mommy friends and her little girl who will be 3 in November. Jayden was not on his best behavior; not sharing very well, not using soft and kind words and complaining that he was hungry, then thirsty, then hungry (which I knew he wasn't because he had just had breakfast). I had had it with his behavior and the meltdown began. Fast forward 40 minutes and as he was sitting on the stairs, in timeout, trying to calm himself down he had asked me to get the playing cards he had brought with him from home. I gave him 1 playing card and he began to suck on it almost like a pacifier. I was shocked. He had sucked on it so hard the corner had come off. I have come to the conclusion that Jayden has a VERY, VERY hard time calming himself down without sucking on something. He works himself up so much that he can't get down without sucking.
Jayden hasn't had a tantrum in months. He has probably only had 4 tantrums since we left Poland and everything they've been over is something silly; wanting his pacifier, not wanting to wash his hair in the bath, wanting to stay at the gym while Daddy is working out and lastly, wanting to finish the movie "Air Buddies" instead of going home. Silly, eh? But from this day forward, actually since yesterday, I will NOT give in to Jayden's pacifier. I think it is a valuable lesson and important for him to learn how to calm himself down naturally and on his own. I'll let you know how it goes if another tantrum comes up (which I hope it does not)!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
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3 comments:
We donated all of Matt's binkies to "the new babies at the hospital" when he turned 2. He felt so big giving them to the babies. Try it. Like a band aid hard & fast worked best for us. Don't give in. Maybe talk about breathing when frustrated or upset?
We've been using deep breaths and relaxing, though Amari rarely has a tantrum. He's pretty dang easy going, and when he does, I can usually find the root of the issue in one of a few things (tiredness and not enough time together are two big ones for him). Those are the things to "fix." On the other hand, Amari has never taken a paci because he had free reign of my breasts to suck until he was ready to wean. Ironically though, I do sometimes notice him sucking in his sleep (less and less these days, but still). The entire reflex is comforting for children. :)
Missy - We tried that when he turned 3. It didn't work. We were on day 3.5 when we got a knock on our door after about 40 minutes of crying at mid-night one night and the neighbors said they'd call the police on us and tell Adam's club that we are disturbing everyone in the building.. So basically we had to give in. There was no other option at that time. Thanks for the tip on breathing that might work!
Maria - I see you are also into using breathing. I have to tell you both that when Adam had tantrums (bad ones of course) he used to get so worked up and couldn't calm himself down that he would passout. So I don't know if tantrums are hereditary but by the looks of it it seems like Jayden has the same problem Adam did. Jayden's tatrums stem from tiredness aka wanting his pacifier or hunger, that's it. I try very hard to never put him at a situation that he is overtired or hungry but sometimes it just doesn't work!
Thanks for the tips ladies :)
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