Parenting: A Month in Review

This month I have truly realized that no matter how perfect I want Jayden to act and behave, it's not possible. He is a 3 year old boy with more energy then anyone I have ever met. But that doesn't mean he can act out or not follow the rules; I have simply concluded that if we are at home or out in public he is not going to be a perfect little gentleman everyday. Here is our month of parenting in review:

1. The Nuknuk fairy. You may remember how the nuknuk fairy had made its way to our house. Well the nuknuk fairy went away without any nuknuks. For 3 1/2 days we lived without a nuknuk. At first, Jayden was doing pretty good (and I use that term loosely). During bedtime on the 3rd day Jayden woke up around mid-night absolutely screaming and bawling his eyes out. Nothing I, nor Adam, could do would calm him down and I mean nothing. He worked himself up so bad he was so red in the face and out of breath. It was almost scary. Needless to say, that night he got his nuknuk back. Why you ask? Because at about 12:30 AM a Polish woman came down to our door ringing our doorbell and knocking on the door. Finally, Adam opened the door and she started to scream at us (in Polish). It was a lose/lose situation. I didn't want to give in and give him his nuknuk but at the same time I also didn't want Adam to get in trouble with the team and have anymore neighbors yelling at us. Later that night when I was putting Jayden back to sleep (with his nuknuk) he softly told me, "Momma, I have been praying to get my nuknuk back. Thank you Jesus!" And after sleeping until 10 AM the next morning, he woke up and said, "Momma, that is so very nice of you to give me my nuknuk back. Thanks Mom!" In the end I felt like he truly wasn't ready to give up his nuknuk. It is the one of the only constants he has had in his life since he was born. When the time comes I know he will give it up himself but for now, the Lord and his nuknuk will continue to comfort him while he sleeps at night and for some reason, I am now ok with that.

2. School. Three different schools, in three different countries, in three years. Some people think we are nuts to change his environment so often and even more nuts when I enrolled him in school in Poland since we knew we were only going to be here for 3.5 months. To me, it's a opportunity for Jayden. He is able to play, learn and grow with kids all around the world. You'd be amazed of how well two kids can communicate with each other without speaking the same language. It is truly an amazing thing to watch. I brought up school this month because of Jayden's behavior at home. Jayden has been tested Adam and I more then ever. I was worried that he may be acting the same way at school. So I sat down with the only English-speaking teacher at his school and asked her to be completely honest and tell me how Jayden behaves. She told me that he is a very sweet boy. Sometimes he gets a little rough with the other boys but she said it is completely "normal" for a child his age (I totally don't agree with this but that's another topic). She did tell me that one day a couple weeks ago he had knocked down one of the little girls. I was mortified. Then she continued to tell me that he immediately helped her up and said he was so sorry so I guess I felt a little better. Lastly, we concluded our conversion as the following, "Well you know (way too long of a pause) he has a lot of energy! He loves to run around and play with all the balls! All the older boys love to play with him!" And just when I thought she was going to say something I totally didn't want to hear, she told me something I have known since his birth.

3. Reaction. When I don't react, he stops. When I react, he continues to misbehave. It's not rocket science but I swear it's been working. A friend of mine I met in Poland told me that when her daughter used to throw tantrums she wouldn't react, she would just ignore her until she was done. I decided I would give it a try. Sure enough, it worked. It was amazing. When Jayden is starting to melt down or throws a tantrum I try to ignore him. Once he calms himself down and a few minutes pass I then go talk to him about what just happened. He can then express his feelings to me without yelling or getting upset. I have noticed an improvement in his behavior ever since trying this method. It probably isn't the best parenting advice but it works for us.

4. Daddy time. Adam and Jayden have this unique relationship. It's like they understand each other on a totally different level then Jayden and I. Maybe it's a father/son thing or maybe it is because Jayden is an exact clone of Adam, who knows; but one thing I know is when Jayden has alone time with Adam (I swear Jayden gets sick of me) he comes home refreshed and rejuvenated. He always walks through the door with a huge smile on his face and can't wait to tell me what him and Daddy just did. This past Monday I begged Adam to take Jayden to dance class, not because I had something to do but because the first time I took him he would not let go of my leg or participate at all. Sure enough, I looked in through a little crack of the door to see Jayden dancing away and having so much fun! Adam has been making it a point to do something special with Jayden once a week and it's been great! I know Jayden really looks forward to those days and I don't mind getting a little reading in while their out and about!

That is about it for our Parenting: A Month in Review. It has been a learning month for both Adam and I but the Lord has been guiding the way. Even after a difficult day I know He is in control and will continue to offer His guidance and grace to help us overcome any rock in the road.